CHE SARA, SARA 3

Nokplim to Kwabena

… October, 1995

Dear Kwabena,

I received your previous letter on Monday afternoon. I had already posted mine that morning. I HOPE I HAVE NOT HURT YOU.

I can sense from the letter you wrote that you are going thru a lot of pain and agony because of me. I’m very sorry. Please forgive me for the torture I’m causing you.

Kwabena, why can’t you stop hurting me and yourself by forgetting about me and the love you have for me. I know you will hate me after you read this letter.

Why didn’t you fall in-love with Dorcas? Because, before the B.E.C.E, you guys were very close. I mean you were always teaching her in their house on Sundays and exchanging story books.

I am not sure that we can face the risk ahead, Kwabena. Because I know that if the pains get worse, I will lose concentration on my studies and it will affect me in the future. And the same applies to you. I’m saying this because those who’ve gone into it say there is a bitter part of love – a BROKEN HEART.

I love the story very much and please I want you to do your best to continue it for me. I think it’s perfect.

Now to tell the truth, I fell in-love with you a few months before we went for the excursion to the Kwame Nkrumah Mausoleum. During this time, you became cold towards me. Most of the time, you kept pushing me away from your company. It was when we went to the Boti Falls that I noticed you were also in-love with me. You refused to show it. So I gathered the courage to ask you if you were feeling the same way I did.

From the beginning, you were pushing me away. How sure can I be that in the middle too, you will not push me away?

I love you KWABENA OFORI ANSAH; but as I have told you before, I don’t want it to exist. I’m still trying my best to forget you and the love I have for you. I hope God will help me to be successful even though I am finding it difficult. It is all because I don’t want to be rejected by any boy. Please consider all these things and bear with me. Please forget about me. Please try again. I also miss you very much.

Nokplim writes

Kwabena to Nokplim

23^rd October, 1995

Nokplim,

It’s always a pleasure to write to you. I hope that by God’s grace you’re feeling all right. Nokplim, thank you very much for that beautiful card. (But it makes me a sad because it points out how heartless I’ve been.

I was very pleased to receive your letter (that was, until I read it). Nokplim, contrary to what you said, I do not hate you even after reading the letter. I can NEVER hate you. I respect your decision. I only mentioned it again because I thought that you might have changed your mind. I certainly don’t want you to lose concentration on your studies. At least, we will still be friends.

Nokplim, why should I have fallen in love with Dorcas? She and I have never been very close. I taught her only because her mum asked me to. We did not exchange books; she had (and still has) access to lots of books and she lent me a few. I never refuse books from anyone. You are the one I love.

Nokplim, I know I’ve been cold towards you several times. And I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me. It was not because I didn’t love you; it was because I loved you (funny, isn’t it). I wanted what I felt for you to go away. (Does that sound familiar?). But the farther I distanced myself from you, the stronger it grew. That’s why I didn’t write to you in your first term. I knew that what I felt was going to show in the letters (I was right). After Boti Falls, I had to write; but I always stopped myself from revealing what I felt. But when you confronted me with it, everything came tumbling out. I understand it when you have doubts about my commitment; after all, I didn’t start very well, did I?

Nokplim, as I said before, I have to accept what you want (even though, I am not sure exactly what you want us to do). So I guess from now on we are just friends:

Bye-bye love

Bye-bye happiness

Hello loneliness

I feel that I could cry

Bye-bye, my love, bye-bye

Kwabena

Nokplim to Kwabena

… November, 1995

Kwabena,

I don’t even know how to start this letter because I can see I have really hurt you. I’m really sorry. I didn’t know I will hurt you so much please forgive me.

I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye before I left. I didn’t want you to get sad about my leaving for school.

I guess you didn’t understand my letter. I stated that I didn’t want to get a broken heart if I enter a relationship. I mean I am scared. I didn’t say or think that you will be the one to break my heart.

One thing you must know is that even if you love me, it cannot stop me from learning. I now realise that you’ve even “stopped loving me” because of the letter I wrote. But don’t worry about Dorcas; I just wanted to know what she meant to you.

I don’t understand what you mean by this sentence: ‘what do you want us to do now?’ Do you mean that you also want us to be just friends? Please tell me the truth and how you feel.

Nokplim.

P.S. I was really hurt by the short poem. Don’t bye-bye me because you’re still a close friend; even if you have stopped considering me as your friend. To tell the truth, you are still close to me. And I can never forget you.

Kwabena to Nokplim

20^th November, 1995

Nokplim,

You don’t know how relieved I am to have received your letter. I thought that you had decided to break all contact. I’m very glad you wrote.

In your letter, you wrote that you’ve realised that you’ve really hurt me. I didn’t know that you had noticed. I thought I was hiding it quite well. Anyway, yes, I’m hurt; but I am quite used to pain. So don’t worry.

Nokplim, you don’t have to apologise for not saying goodbye before you left. I knew you’d be leaving that day; actually, I expected that you’d be gone by the time I returned from town. I understand your reason.

Nokplim, you said that you’ve realised I’ve stopped loving you. Unless I’m mistaken, I thought that was what you wanted. Or you mean I’ve stopped loving you as a friend. If that is what you mean, then you are wrong. You are still my friend. I don’t know what I did to make you think otherwise, but let me assure you that I value our friendship. I don’t want to ever lose your friendship.

You asked if I also want us to be just friends. Well, yes, that is what I want too.

I don’t know if you remember but I asked you for your date of birth. Well, I’m still waiting; unless, of course, you don’t want me to know. If that is not the case, then please tell me. After all, you know mine. Please. I won’t ask again.

The story is getting along quite well; though everyday it gets more and more difficult to write. I hope I’ll be able to finish it. (The temptation to kill either Betty or Simon is almost irresistible.) Please, look at it very and critically (especially, the part they kissed) to see if I left anything out. I believe you’re more of an expert in that than I am. If it would help, have someone else (a friend perhaps) look at it also.

I have to end here. I hope you’ll reply soon. Goodbye.

Kwabena.

P.S. That ‘poem’ was actually a song. There is another one which I like on the cassette. Maybe, I’ll let you listen to it sometime.

Nokplim to Kwabena

As usual

Dear Kwabena,

The pleasure is all mine to write to you this wonderful and lovely letter. How is your state of health? I hope you are as fit as a fiddle. I’m also fine and have started studying hard. I have received your card and I was so curious that I opened it. I hope that you will forgive me. I want to thank you formally for the lovely card you gave me. I really loved it. It’s a special thing to me. I hope sending it to me was just as special to you.

Please, I want to know when you are leaving for school. We didn’t have time for each other when I came home, so we couldn’t talk. We are not very close like first, I don’t know why but it really hurts me. Please, whatever the matter is, tell me about it. I know I will be able to do something about it for our sake.

I really like you and how you are. I don’t want us to be separated but I want us to be close friends. I really mean it.

I hope to hear from you soon.

I MISS YOU VERY MUCH AND THANK YOU FOR THE CHOCOLATE AND CARD.

Nokplim writes.