CHE SARA, SARA 2

Kwabena to Nokplim

24^th July, 1995

Dear Nokplim,

I debated with myself a lot, before replying your letter. I wasn’t sure whether it would get to you before you vacated. But I am sure you will not have the opportunity to reply before you come home.

Puzzles, parable, riddles, etc. Nokplim, your letter was full of questions. I don’t think that I’m hiding anything from you. As for my letters being full of puzzles, maybe it is because I love to play with words. If that makes it seem as if there are hidden meanings behind the words, then forgive me. It is just that sometimes I get carried away by the beauty of the words.

Nokplim, if you feel there are a lot of things for you to tell me; then, by all means, do so. Don’t let me stop you.

By the time this letter gets to you, you may have finished your exams. So I hope that you get A’s in all your papers.

I will like to end here. I know this has been my shortest letter to you yet. Forgive me. I wish you a safe journey home.

Kwabena.

Kwabena to Nokplim

19^th September, 1995

Hello Nokplim,

I hope by God’s grace you’ve arrived safely at school. How are you? I hope your eyes are better. I am alright.

Nokplim, I couldn’t wait to write to you after you left. But I had to write more of the story. I knew that I couldn’t write to you without adding at least a few paragraphs. After a little difficulty, I’ve been able to add a few lines.

Nokplim, you know, I’m still recovering from your departure. Even though I had prepared myself mentally towards your absence, that morning when I saw you in your uniform, I couldn’t stop the feeling of loneliness that passed over me. Ever since then, the feeling of loss has been hitting me in waves. There are times when I am able to take my mind off you. Then before I realise it, my mind is back on you. In those moments, I wish that I could speak to you, even if I couldn’t see you. I miss you terribly.

Nokplim, remember when you said that it is good for a people to talk about things that worry them? Well, there are lots of things on my mind; so I’m going to take your advice. In your second note, you wrote that you were trying to forget that you have feelings for me. Nokplim, I would like to know if you have succeeded; or have you stopped trying? Or are you still in the process?

I would also like to know what YOU feel and think, when I tell you what I feel. For instance, when we spoke the day before you left and I told you the way I feel when I am separated from you, you just said that I was suffering. What do you feel about what I say? And what do you think when I say such things? Do you just tell yourself, this guy is lying? Or this guy is just trying to be charming? Or that he is just saying what they all say; I’ve heard all this before; this is nothing new? Do you believe what I say? Sometimes, I feel I am bothering you. Am I right?

Nokplim, I would really like answers to these questions. I have to end here. Have a nice term.

Missing you,

Kwabena.

Nokplim to Kwabena

26^th September, 1995

Dear Kwabena,

How is life back home? I hope everything is moving on smoothly. I hope you are not worried about me too much because I’m fine. I had a bad dream last night. I dreamt that your elder sister, your uncle and my father came to my school to take me home. Their reason was that you were sick (very sick) and you wanted me to be with you, hold you and pray for you. When I came home with them you were at the point of death. I came to sit on your bed, you hugged me and slept. After some time, you woke up feeling better; and I never left for school again.

Please make sure you take good care of yourself and you don’t get sick. I hope I haven’t taken much of your body away. I hope the hole in your heart has been sealed and the tear in your eye has been wiped away. I hope I don’t ask too many questions. I MISS YOU VERY MUCH.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Nokplim.

P.S. I don’t understand my dream so please write and tell me how and when you fell in-love with me. And please remember to continue my story. Could you please tell me when you will be celebrating your birthday and the colour you like best?

Kwabena to Nokplim

3^rd October, 1995

Nokplim,

It was very wonderful to receive your letter. I am glad that you’re alright. When I received your letter, I thought that it was the reply to the one I had written earlier. I hope you’ve received that one by now.

Nokplim, I want to assure you that I’m feeling very well. So don’t worry about my health. I don’t know why you had that dream or what it meant. I’m only grateful that, at least, it turned out all right. So please forget about the dream.

Nokplim, I used to like questions which began with “How”; but so far, all the questions you’ve asked me which begin like that have been very difficult to answer. I know you want me to tell you how I fell in love with you. But to be honest with you, I’ve thought a lot over it and I’ve found no answer. I realised that it is something that happened so… quietly (I can’t find any other word that can describe what I want to say). Maybe, you can help me by telling me how you fell in love with me.

You also asked me when I fell in love with you. This is also a tough one. Bu this is a little easier to answer. You see, I began to notice that I enjoyed spending time with you. I realised how much I liked it when you were beside me. I realised how empty I felt when you were not around. If you remember, when I was in form three, you used to wave at me in the night. I can’t express how I felt at those times. I tried to suppress what I felt. That is why sometimes I was so cold towards you (I’m sorry for that). I wasn’t sure if I was really in love with you, or if what I felt was just a passing fancy. The reason why I didn’t write to you when you first left for school was because I was afraid that everything I felt would come out in the letters.

On that day, I felt so sad. The urge to be with you was so strong that I went inside. But I was looking through the window at you.

When you left, I told myself that I was very happy, I told myself that with you gone; maybe those feelings would also go. But I was wrong. They intensified. I couldn’t help but notice how much I missed you. I needed a lot of will-power to stop myself from writing to you.

By the time you came home, I had managed to take control of myself. Then we took the excursion to the Boti Falls and somehow, I had you to myself all day. That was the day that I felt closest to you. Sometimes, I wonder what I might have said, if I could have gathered enough courage.

And then you went to school and I wrote. You know the rest of the story. I guess that I’ve not really answered your question; I’m sorry. Why don’t you give me an answer to the same question?

I would like to end here. Somehow, I feel I’ve not done very well in answering the questions. But this is the best I can do. I hope to hear from you soon. Goodbye.

Missing You

Kwabena.

P.S. My birthday is on the 15^th of this month. I’m afraid to say this, but my favourite colour is black.

I know your birthday is already past, but please let me know when it was. I’ll make it up to you. I am sorry I’ll not be able to add to this letter the continuation of your story. I’ve already sent 6 pages. What I’ve written since then is only one page. I’ll add more and include it in my next letter.